Divorce Study: A Psychologist Explains How Gray Divorces Occur

Much discussion has been had in recent years about the phenomenon of gray divorce. These are divorces that generally occur after the age of 50. Gray divorce begs the question, why would a couple that stayed together for such a long time decide to untie the knot so late in life? One psychologist sought to answer this question.

His research indicates that there are two phases to a gray divorce. The couple stays together while steadily growing apart for years. The couple finally realizes that the marriage must end. In this article, we’ll take a closer look at his findings.

Staying together while growing apart 

The research team found that the first phase leading up to a gray divorce often involves long-term dissatisfaction with the marriage. The couple, nonetheless, stays together while their marriage is failing, sometimes for years.

Former spouses reported growing apart due to instances of infidelity, verbal abuse, and being controlled by the other spouse. They also realized their incompatibility due to differences in character and poor communication. Many cited personal development as a reason for their divorce. This created a distance between the couple when the other partner did not want to pursue the same path.

Realizing the marriage must end 

Researchers discovered that the second phase culminating in gray divorce is when a decision is finally realized after years of escalating marital distress. At some point, the researchers found, a significant turning point occurs and the marriage goes completely downhill.

Such “points of no return” include specific events in the marriage that led to animosity between the two spouses and pushed the marriage over the edge. These can include public fights that put the strained relationship on display, instances of marital or financial infidelity, and physical, economic, or emotional abuse. Such moments lead to instances of clarity concerning the marriage and a desire to get divorced.

In addition, participants also told researchers they were in a better position to get divorced later in life due to major changes in their family structure. Many of the participants were empty nesters. Further, changing sociocultural norms concerning divorce impacted the social impact of getting a divorce. Today, divorces occur much more frequently than they did several decades ago. Others cited emotional maturity as the reason for waiting until later in life. Many cited a strong desire to enjoy what was left of their lives.

Talk to an Orlando Family Law Attorney Today 

The Orlando family lawyers at Greater Orlando Family Law represent the interests of those pursuing a divorce. Call our office today to schedule an appointment, and we can begin discussing your next steps right away.